Low Self-Esteem Low Confidence

Low Self Esteem / Low Confidence

Are any of these a familiar chatter in your head?

A sense of just not being good enough or clever enough
Wondering why you feel you are such a burden to others
A feeling of failure

These are just a few examples of what low self-esteem sounds like.

These concepts can be built from very early on in our lives, or can result from something that has been traumatic later in life.To have high self-esteem would be the opposite. We feel positive about ourselves, we value ourselves and have the in-built resources to give us the strength to deal with the ups and downs of life.

Often it isn’t what happens, but how we choose to deal with it. Low self-esteem encourages the negative self talk.

If you find that you are unable to work through problems and issues without finding blame in yourself, that you find yourself focusing on what you haven’t done right, well or good enough, then you may well have low self esteem.
We are who we are as a result of our experiences and situations. These shape how we view ourselves
So self-esteem refers to how we feel about ourselves overall;
How much self-esteem, self love do you have?

What are the differences between Low Confidence and Low Self-Esteem?

Self-confidence and Self-esteem are often used interchangeably, but they are distinctly different things. Having a lack of self-confidence means that you struggle to have faith in your own capabilities. Whereas low self-esteem comes from having a low opinion of who we are as a person, struggling with our sense of worthiness in the world. Both low confidence and esteem can affect how we think and feel as we move through the world.

It might help to know that our brains work with a negativity bias; it is trained through evolution to look out for danger and anything negative to protect us. This was helpful in the Savannah and the rain forests when there were lions and snakes to be on the lookout for, but it is very unhelpful in living a suburban life. We are relatively safe, but our brains are still wired to look for trouble, and it is excellent at finding that negativity in ourselves, whether it’s real or imagined. It intends to keep us safe but left unchallenged it can create problems.

How can counselling help?

Confidence

With low self-confidence, we often criticise ourselves, focusing on our weaknesses or shortcomings we perceive ourselves to have, neglecting our strengths, abilities and previous successes.

Through recognising and challenging the beliefs, behaviours, and self-talk, it is possible to increase our overall confidence. It helps us re frame old messages that may have been given to us as children that are no longer useful to us as adults but that we do out of habit. Counselling can encourage us to dig deep into who we truly are and help us show up fully in the world with being hampered back by our low self-confidence.

Self-Esteem

Low self-esteem is similar to low self-confidence in that people often put themselves down usually though it is due to core belief that they are worthless and have nothing to offer those they love or society.

Counselling helps identify core beliefs about who you are as a person. Sometimes, growing up, we can believe that we are unworthy because our parents or caregivers were unable to show us love, when their inability to show you love was the problem, not you. We are all born precious, and our worth is inherent from our first breath. It is not something we have to earn it is your birthright.